With a Flexi Friday at his mercy, Betoota Heights man Aaron Shoop has spent the morning adding some touches to his greatest artwork.

“This is my sistine chapel,” explained the young father of two while crouching down and running his fingers over the perfectly cut 42 millimetre grass that makes up his lawn.

“Isn’t it a thing of beauty,” sighed the lawn porn enthusiast from our town’s most suburban district.

Our reporter nodded politely at the perfectly manicured lawn that skirts his 34 square metre backyard.

“They reckon it took Michelangelo 5 years to paint the Sistine Chapel,” laughed the lawn porn enthusiast.

“It’s taken me nearly as long to get this thing up to scratch.”

“You should seen the state of it when we moved in, just disgraceful. Full of bindies, piss stains everywhere, dog holes left right and centre.”

“Made me sick.”

“But, now, we’ve got a work of art,” continued the man who spends more time in lawn related Facebook groups than anything else on social media.

When asked whether his wife and kids share his appreciation for the lawn, Shoop just laughed.

“Mate, I wish.”

“They think it’s madness that I mow it ever week and spend all this time on it.”

“But it’s my mindfulness.”

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here