The AFL’s most ‘prestigious’ club has today called an emergency meeting to try and stop the PR nightmare that has been unfolding for the last three or so years.

Dramas surrounding the club have come to a head over the last couple of days, with player Joel Smith alleged by Sporting Integrity Australia to have been involved in the “trafficking or attempted trafficking” of cocaine.

The bombshell allegations follow years of speculation around the behaviour of other players in the group and people involved in the organisation – enough to make fans vomit on their cheese boards.

While drunken dust ups between the players over a succulent Chinese meal have gone through to the keeper, other allegations around the club have certainly caused consternation in the Old Private School Boys Victorian Football League.

Now, it seems like the most influential old school boys at AFL headquarters might not be able to protect them for much longer.

So, as a result, coach Simon Goodwin has called an emergency session on the pints and the punt down at a pub in the Mornington Peninsula.

“Boys, pack it up, we’re going pub,” said Goodwin at training earlier this arvo.

“It’s time for a culture session.”

Goodwin told The Advocate that culture is the most important thing to a football team.

“Look at the West Coast Eagles back in the day mate,” he said.

“You don’t need a bunch of church mice to win a title, you need blokes who punt, piss on and play for each other.”

“So we are off to get on it.”


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