WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A local Amazonian man from the Marubo tribe has today spoken to The Advocate via Facetime about his new found technological freedom.
Amotawe Awiki says the last 9 months have been quite the rollercoaster since Elon Musk brought his Starlink technology to the forest.
“It has completely changed my life,” said the newly porn-addicted man, speaking through a translator.
Pausing our conversation briefly to watch the 5th race at the Dapto Greyhound track, Awiki said there’s no going back.
“My world has changed from hunting, spirituality and family to dogs, porn and Candy Crush,” said the man who is slowly morphing into a young Australian apprentice.
Awiki’s comments come after revelations emerged this week that the previously isolated tribe has become addicted to pornography and social media.
The addictions come off the back of Elon introducing internet to the remote group, which tech nerds hailed as an incredible move that we should all be incredibly impressed with.
However, it’s since turned out that the billionaire’s latest brain fart wasn’t the greatest idea, with the tribe having the fabric of its society quickly eroded, like the rest of us.
With no way back from the rapid opening up of the eyes of the Marubo Tribe, Elon has of course refused to offer up any suggestions on how to stop the situation deteriorating further.
While many are saddened by the development, Awiki said he loves being a modern man.
“I am going to marry Riley Reid,” he said to us.
“Also, Reece Walsh is going to be the Man of The Match tonight.”
“And Valentine Holmes is going to win me money as the first tryscorer.”
The line then dropped out as he tuned in to the 6th race at Dapto, ending the call.
