LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Local diner Sofia Mandrill (28) has learnt the true meaning of regret today after ordering granola at her local cafe.
Stopping in for a morning coffee, breaky, and book reading attempt before jumping directly on to Insta, Mandrill opted to order the cafe’s house granola in an effort to improve her general health that some have called virtue signalling.
After ordering her granola, Mandrill states she felt good about herself for about three and a half seconds until her nostrils detected the crispy woft of a bacon & egg roll floating by.
“Aaaah fuck,” stated Mandrill to no one in particular.
“I made a mistake.”
With the waitstaff still insight, Mandrill states she briefly considered shouting out and changing her order but states she has never had the confidence to do that and never will.
“No, it’s fine, the granola is fine.”
“Fark. [The granola] probably has the same amount of calories as a bacon & egger. And it’s more expensive.”
“And I have granola at home.”