Betoota Heights couple Scott Wilton and Samantha Mason are not in the fucking mood for it today, it can be confirmed.

The cause of the ‘get absolutely fucked’ attitude comes after the Reserve Bank raised the cash rate by 50 basis points, to 0.85%.

It’s the biggest single rise in the cash rate in 22 years, and comes a month after the RBA raised interest rates for the first time in a long time.

Australia’s central bank says it has made the call to try and slow down inflation before it gets out of control.

The raise means people with a million-dollar loan would need to stump up an extra $265 a month, on top of the $135 a month from the May raise.

For new ‘homeowners’ like Scott and Sam, this means they are going to have to find an extra hundred bucks a week or so moving forward.

“Yeah, I’m very fucking off it,” said Scott, who initially refused to speak to our reporter.

“No, I’m not in a fucking good mood. Because Sam and I have spent 8 years saving our pennies to buy a 2 and a half bedroom fuckhole on the edge of Betoota Heights.”

“I mean, the half bedroom couldn’t fit a sleeping bag and it’s filled with mold, but I’m just following the real estate agent’s lead.”

“And now we have to find a way to just magic up an extra hundred dollars a week”

“And this is going to keep happening because the people in charge of the economy have lost control of inflation. But it’s not their fault is it.”

“And it’s not the government’s fault that they’ve turned what should be a universal human right into a way for people to make huge amounts of money.”

“So I guess it’s just nobody’s fault aye”

“I just have to find a way to keep making more money appear because this housing bubble has blown up a like a dead cow in the back paddock”

“So in summary.”


“I’m not in a fucking good mood.”

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here