Former Federal Member For Fairfax, Clive Palmer, was reportedly running late for all of today’s engagements after an unfortunate start to the morning.

After dressing himself in fine Italian leather and linen for a big day of business, the mining magnate and Tim Tim-enthusiast found himself in an unfortunate predicament after stepping on his grog dog’s grog bog.

“Oh, blast!” shouted the proud Queenslander.

“Grog dog!!!”

It is believed that the iconic Palmer family pet had spent a large night on the cold ones, after knocking off work. His bog was reportedly extra groggy.

The former political renegade turned meme purveyor says he had to spend a couple minutes scraping the grog dog’s grog bog off his shoe, and was, therefore, late for a very important date. Stressed, he then treated himself to several tim tams.

His comments came in the form of a Japanese haiku.


On the grog,

in the lawn, a bog

That’s no fun

Smell of rum

On the shoe… Oh stuff you!”


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