WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact

British Prime Minister Rishi Sunak has taken a huge step towards winning the upcoming election, with a bombshell announcement over the weekend.

The billionaire leader of the failing Divided Kingdom has revealed that if he wins the upcoming election, he will implement mandatory national service for 18-year-olds.

The head scratching move has drawn he ire of everyone from the blue haired lefties all the way up to the top brass of the military – who say they need more money not spotty kids who want to be getting on the piss in Shagaluf or Mallorca.

Sunak’s new policy comes ahead of the snap election he called for the 4th of July.

He hopes to somehow win the election by getting in quick and fast, before economic conditions on the god forsaken island deteriorate even further.

With the Tories (aka the British toffs who don’t pretend not to be toffs) lagging in the polls and in desperate need of a boost, Sunak is hoping to win disenfranchised voters over with the promise of making these lazy, entitled Gen Z brats get their hands dirty.

The service would involve all 18-year-olds going and doing a year with the military, in what boomers think will teach them discipline, the merits of sacrifice and a deep seated disdain of the top brass.

A well-publicised feature of a few other countries around the world, it’s not really clear why this extremely rich toff who went to Oxford before a career in politics is putting his eggs in the military service basket.

More to come.


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