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“We fucked up,” was the understated phrase that came from AFL CEO Gillon McLachlan as he fronted a media scrimmage on the Code’s independent investigation into bombshell claims of racism at Hawthorn.

“I mean it’s a real fuck up, even by our standards,” the stunning brunette conceded, making reference to any situation that includes the words ‘AFL’ and ‘racism’ in the same sentence.

The latest race-based fuck up comes after the AFL’s 8 month independent investigation into whatever heinous shit went on in Hawthorn not so long ago fails to do anything helpful in a timely manner. Instead it just continues to weigh on all those involved, causing more hurt and pain with no end in sight.

According to sources, the AFL will soon end the panel’s investigation for “better or worse” as McLachlan put it.

And to quickly draw attention away from this fuck up, it is understood the AFL is set to announce the commencement of a new independent investigation into how they fucked up this last independent investigation.

Which they’ll no doubt fuck up, too. 

As if on cue, McLachlan went on to tell this morning’s media scrimmage that the AFL “were meant to start the new independent investigation yesterday but weren’t able to get the relevant documents together in time.” 

This throw away comment officially marks the very first fuck up in what will no doubt be a series of further fuck ups over the next 8 months at least.

“It’s something we’ll continue to investigate over the coming weeks,” McLachlan said for no real reason beyond thinking it sounded like something someone who is competent should say while talking about business stuff.

“There’s a lot of moving parts to this,” he said a few moments later in the hope of dodging any questions that demanded specific details.

The Advocate has since reached out to the AFL for further comments. However, an organisational spokesperson responded by saying that, legally speaking, no details can be provided while the fuck ups remain ongoing.

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