ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The small island nation of New Zealand has offered the people of Ukraine the use of their entire Air Force fleet after Kiwi Prime Minister Chris Hipkins said it could be put to better use elsewhere.

The Royal New Zealand Air Force is made up of four middle-aged men from Central Otago. Two pilots, Gordon McIntyre and Roy Saunders. One ground mechanic, Ainsley Blain, and one gunner named Neil McCrory.

Neil uses a Smith & Wessson Model 28 revolver during day operations and a Smith & Wesson Model 10 in .38 Special. (one stolen from a NSW police officer in 2005) when they’re fighting the enemy at night.

Prime Minister Hipkins stressed to the people of New Zealand that Gordon, Roy, Ainsley and Neil wouldn’t be heading to Ukraine to fight themselves, their airplane and guns will be used by Ukrainian forces.

“I’m very proud to say that President Zelensky was very touched by the gesture,” he said.

“In addition to the whole Air Force, I offered him the use of the Navy’s centre console tinny but he explained the Turkish would not let military vessels through the Bosporus Strait,”

“However, this does leave New Zealand vulnerable to air attacks as our Cessna will be sticking it to the Ruskis. The Autistralians [coughs] sorry the Australians have said they will lend us a fighter plane so if the Fijians try anything funny [laughs] Sorry, I shouldn’t joke. They’re the coup capital of the South Pacific, they might try something. That’s Australia, not Fiji [more laughter] No we are eternally thankful to Prime Minister Morrinease or whatever his name is,”

“Anyway, keep that in mind for election time. We are on the global stage.”

More to come.


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