ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large| Contact

Former Prime Minister Scott Morrison is missing the first day of the new parliament today because he’s on his way to Japan to give a few talks with other deposed conservative leaders from around the world.

The current New South Wales Premier Dominic Perrottet is also in Japan transiting to his next destination as part of his whirlwind tour of Asia to pretty much do anything except come home and face the music over this whole John Barilaro trade job fuck up that the public wants someone to go down for.

The two men spotted one another from afar while enjoying their complimentary access to the Qantas Club Chairman’s Lounge, which is a secret place for well-heeled and connected Australian business leaders and politicians get to make their toasted sandwiches between flights.

The Advocate’s editor, Clancy Overell, had his membership to the Qantas Chairman’s Lounge revoked after he put a chair through the big screen to stop the never-ending loop of Sky News updates.

Then-senator Derryn “The Human Colostomy Bag” Hinch tried to stop him but Clancy picked up another chair and threw it at him, knocking him and his breakfast chardonnay over.

Nevertheless, Mr Morrison told The Advocate (which he now enjoys and has renewed his subscription for the first time since 2017) that he shared a “man-nod” with his Liberal understudy Dominic as they both enjoyed their own toasted sandwiches from opposite ends of the lounge.

“I didn’t have to go over and say hello, I knew what he was thinking,” said Mr Morrison.

“We just kind of shared a knowing nod,”

“That we were both avoiding what was going on back at home. Dom is about a Frenchman’s cock away from getting dragged into the kangaroo court ICAC, falsely tried then hanged from a streetlight in Martin Place for just helping his dumb fuck chode of a mate get a job. I was going to have to sit on the backbench in opposition for the first time ever. Fuck that man. He just nodded at me, thinking yeah Scott, that’s a fair cop,”

“Anyway, here’s to being away.”

More to come.

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