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A report commissioned by the Brisbane Chamber of Commerce (BCC) has concluded that Azealia Banks just doesn’t get Origin after refusing to show up in Queensland yet again.

It comes after the New Yorker pulled up stumps here because her promoter “shit the bed” and the crowds in the Sunshine State have historically been quiet hostile to the rapper.

Earlier this week, Azealia played a sellout show at the Enmore Theatre, deep in Sydney’s NIMBY rich yuppie shitebag belt.

That’s evidence, says the report’s author, that Azealia Banks “just doesn’t get Origin”.

“Playing in Queensland is always hostile,” said BCC chairman Bowen Vulture.

“We are the colosseum state. It doesn’t matter if you’ve sold out the Fortitude Valley Music Hall or the Sandie. Queenslanders will demand the best of you. Anyone can turn up and win a game or play a show in Sydney. It takes a special kind of performer or athlete to show up and win in Queensland,”

“Azealia Banks just doesn’t get it. She doesn’t actually understand Origin, which means she’ll never win it. She doesn’t understand Queensland.”

The Advocate reached out to Azealia Banks’ team for comment but was told we wouldn’t be getting one.

More to come.


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