ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Prime Minister’s Office has released a statement this morning after Scott Morrison was spotted wearing some futuristic-looking sunglasses to the beach, just days after exposing his retinas to weld flash.

In the statement, the PMO explained that the “snazzy” new sunglasses are simply a “daggy dad” fashion statement and “definitely” not a medical device to protect his eyes from bright light.

“We rejected the reports that the Prime Minister has hurt his eyes by ‘raw-dogging’ a welder,” it read.

“Mr Morrison is simply unfussed by fashion, as he has more important things to worry about such as running the economy and making sure all Australians have a job,”

“Welding is a fine trade and Mr Morrison is very good at it. The video circulating of the Prime Minister welding with no eye protection is fake. It was created by enemies of the state and its origins are being traced.”

Local ophthalmologist Dr Alex Burgess said he often prescribes those exact sunglasses to patients who have ‘looked at the forbidden light’ at worksites across the Diamantina.

“Yeah, he’s in a world of pain right now,” he said.

“Like having sand thrown in your eyes repeatedly. It was only for a split second so it’s probably not that bad but there’d be some discomfort today, definitely.”

More to come.


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