ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The organisers of the Sydney Mardi Gras have told NSW Police to sit this year’s show out because of how they’ve behaved this week after two members of their community were allegedly murdered in Paddington last week.

The decision is disappointing, according to the NSW Police Commissioner Karen Webb, who said she ultimately respects the decision but refuses to accept that it was the fault of anyone in her organisation.

“Haters gonna hate,” explained the commissioner.

“Isn’t that what Taylor Swift says?”

However, as the Mardi Gras board made the common sense decision to kick the fox out of the hen house, NSWPol has explained they will still be attending the show and they’ll be bringing their little worker doggos.

Darlinghurst, on Sydney’s Lower East Side, will be thick with police, said a NSWPol media officer in a phone conversation with The Advocate this morning.

“Instead of having the, you know, paternal-type police there with a tie on and a smile, we’ll be sending those enormous, anti-social p’lice officers in the boiler suits to make sure that everyone stays safe,” they said.

“We will also be launching Operation Payne, which will see a heightened police presence in the area and drug detection dogs to make sure everyone is safe. We expect crowds to not drink to excess and refrain from taking drugs. Public intoxication notices will be issued to anyone exhibiting signs of intoxication while in public. We need not remind people that being intoxicated in a pub is illegal in NSW. Drinking in an alcohol-free zone will result in p’lice whacking people about the legs and back with their telescopic batons,”

“Police would also like to remind you that there is no ‘o’ in the word ‘p’lice’. The word ‘vehicle’ is pronounced ‘voyhickle’ under p’lice parlance. We would like to wish everyone a happy and safe Mardi Gras and remember that the Sydney Morning Herald is just as complicate in victimising queer people as we are. Historically, of course.”

The Advocate was refused any more questions.

More to come.


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