ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A recent graduate in the private asset management deal at AMP Betoota has used the power of a new pair of deal sleds to land his first private client today as the pair headed to a local Chinese restaurant to celebrate the new relationship.

Often described as the McDonalds of Australian financial services, AMP’s private banking team in Betoota is a close-knit group lead by veteran trader Ross-Sterling Taylor-Jones.

Speaking to The Advocate today, Mr Taylor-Jones said he tells his team not to estimate the power that a new pair of deal sleds can give them.

“They don’t have to be fancy, they don’t even need to be Italian,” he said.

“They just have to be new. Would you want to bank with someone who turns up to a meeting in their fucked old wedding banger Tarocash suit with some sort of bootleg RM Williams boots on? You know the knock off ‘Chelsea boot’ things? Dreadful,”

“I know what you’d rather. A no-nonsense young man in a good suit and a new pair of leather loafers. I call them deal sleds.”

The new banker in question, Howard-Timothy Green-Goose, echoed his boss’ sentiments.

He said working at AMP has been a bit of a ‘baptism of fire’ but he’s loving it so far.

“I have to be in the office before the boss, otherwise, I’m in the shit,” he said.

“But my boss takes me to lunch with his big dick clients but he doesn’t let me eat anything. He expects me to essentially have 5 pints of red wine on an empty stomach and then go back to the office at 3pm and work until 8. Then back at the office at 7am,”

“It’s tough but it’s worth it. When he told me the parable of the deal sled, I knew I was in the inner sanctum then.”

More to come.


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