ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Under the command of General Chris Bowen, the Australian Labor Party stormed the Australian Energy Market Operator (AEMO) building in Melbourne overnight and after an intense, room-to-room fight, raised their flag above the battlefield.

Yesterday afternoon, General Bowan held a press conference to declare AEMO “wasn’t working in the best interests of the Australian proletariat” and ordered heavies and cronies from various trade unions to take the energy regulator by force.

“My sons and daughters,” yelled Bowen from the tray of a 2006 Holden Rodeo park near the Melbourne CBD headquarters of AEMO.

“It’s time we take back what is ours!”

A chorus of gunfire and shouting erupted.

“For the future of the nation, we must secure fair, honest and affordable energy for everyone! Even our conservative cousins deserve to use their heater in June. They deserve to use the air conditioner in Summer,”

“We are reaping what the previous regime has sown. This is a failure of policy as much as it is a failure of infrastructure. Storming the Aemochstag is the only way to protect our energy market from the capitalist pigs that control it,”

“Re ipsa loquitur! Let the good times roll!”

The move has been met with some criticism in the energy sector, with one CEO telling The Advocate that it was a shame that negotiations with the government broke down to the point where armed, uniformed soldiers had to storm a building in Central Melbourne.

However, because soldiers with guns did storm the AEMO building overnight, they were not willing to go on the record.

More to come.

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