STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACT
Mariah Carey’s has fully defrosted just in time for Christmas!
At last, the iconic Mariah Carey’s Christmas anthem is back from it’s year-long hibernation.
Thank fuck because the people of Betoota have been patiently waiting all year to play Carey’s Christmas classic “All I Want for Christmas Is You” on repeat till the local retail store manager decides that song is their 13th reason why.
The stats don’t lie! Scientists have confirmed that the song’s return to number one on the airwaves isn’t just a coincidence but an annual phenomenon correlated with the arrival of December.
Carey herself has yet to comment on this phenomenon, presumably she’s probably been busy practicing her lip syncing in the lead up to her annual Christmas extravaganza special.
With a career spanning four decades, amassing over 200 million records sold, and a noteworthy list of ex-partners, Carey has come to terms with the fact that nothing, and we mean NOTHING will ever compare to the impact THIS song has.
Brace yourselves— ’tis the season for Mariah to reign supreme once more!