ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Pulling up outside his favourite sandwich shop in South Betoota, Graham Frogberk is of the opinion that if you put your hazard lights on, parking like an absolute cunt becomes acceptable.
His heavily-financed burgundy Toyota Rav4 sat in a No Stopping zone for seven minutes while the chinless lump of a 42-year-old galumphed into Wanda’s Wings n Things on Besant Street for his usual Friday morning naughty breakfast.
“I get the beef and black bean sandwich with a hash brown in it,” said the printer solutions specialist.
“It’s such a pain to find a park around there, so I just flick the hazard lights on while I nip it. It over ever takes a minute or two [laughs] People sometimes toot, but I just tell them to fuck off.”
In 2013, however, Mr Frogberk told the wrong person to ‘fuck off’.
In an incident that landed Graham in the hospital for 14 weeks, he was wading back to his illegally-parked car in the swampy Betootanese humidity when he tooted at by Mark ‘Snake’ O’Connor.
Mr O’Connor has served a total of 27 years behind bars since turning 18. The sentence he’s currently serving is for the attempted murder of Frogberk during a road rage incident.
“I told him to fob off and next thing I know, he’s bounced me with the corner of his bull bar. I’ve been launched into the side of my car then squashed and rolled me between his car and mine like a stick between the hands of a bloke trying to make fire the hard way.”
“Then he got out and stomped on my sandwich and said, ‘Who’s the cunt now? You fucken prick!’ It was the most terrifying experience of my life.”
“My doctors said I deserved it though, which was very rude.”
More to come.