The Bureau of Meteorology has said the temperature in Victoria went up from 30C to 31C between midnight and 1:30am this morning due to hot northerly winds. The entire state is currently sweltering through a heatwave, with the mercury tipped to soar to 44C in the north of the state today.

In direct response to the unexpected heatwave, the RSPCA have made calls for all Australians to remember to not lock their pets in cars today. As they respond to hundreds of reports surrounding animals overheating.

In a surprising move to help assist the animal rescue group, both Premier Daniel Andrews and Victorian Minister for Corrections, Gayle Tierney have made the executive decision to allow temporary clemency to the members of the notorious Apex street gang with auto-theft convictions.

“What we have here is a select group of at-risk youth with a select set of skills. Usually we wouldn’t be congratulating these boys, but in this exact scenario, they are of great assistance” said the Premier.

When asked by reporters if it was irresponsible to allow convicted gang members back onto the streets, even temporarily, the Premier lost his temper.

“Do you want the job done fast or do you want the job done well?!” he roared.

“When it comes to a pooch locked in a car in thirty fuckin’ degrees, I don’t think the answer should be fast”

“Now these kids are obviously fucked up, but that know how to get in and out of cars very quickly, without keys. They have proven to be of great assistance”

Teresa Divine, A spokeswoman for the RSPCA says the Apex gang members are making life much easier for the organisation.

“They are really channeling there skills into something more positive. We’d love to hire a few of these kids, but unfortunately they are already within the prison system and probably won’t ever get a proper job for the rest of their life”

“I guess that’s what happens when you steal peoples cars. You pay for it for the rest of your life. But there would have been a lot of dead pets in Melbourne today if it wasn’t for these helpful young men”

“You should have seen B-Dog put a crow bar through the windshield of this Range Rover in Toorak. I’ve never seen anyone move that quickly to save a little a pooch”

Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews has said that the gang members will return to prison immediately after the heatwave is over, and will finish the rest of their ten years sentences.

He’s also announced thousands of more policeman to hit the streets in 2017 to bring down the notorious Apex gang by giving disadvantaged kids better access to education and positive activities.



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