CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
Bryan Coates and his mates have just stumbled out of their favourite pub in Betoota’s trendy meat packing district and on to the high street. Despite there being a smorgasbord of alcoholic serving establishments with over 4.5 stars on TripAdvisor within 500m, the group are listening to one dickhead mate who suggested they travel over 3km to the casino.
“Boys, should we hit up the cas?”
“It’ll be grouse!”
“We’ll walk out of there with a gut full of piss and pockets full of chips.”
As Betoota hasn’t succumbed to the same pressures our southern cousins, lock out laws are yet to be implemented. So, while it may seem like the casino is the only option at 2:30am, there are in fact over 16 better options than the casino right now.
It’s understood that the man who suggested the casino has not been out of the house in over six months. Not in a weird anti-social way, but because he has been under the thumb of his girlfriend, who apparently develops separation anxiety if the two are apart for more than 30 minutes – Bryan explains.
“Mate. It’s the fucking worst.”
“You don’t hear from him for 6 months, then the one time he does come out he tries to make us go to the casino.”
“I mean, look, I’m not complaining. I love the cas.”
“It just pisses me off that he’s calling the shots.”
“Anyway, I’m pissed now so have probably said too much. Do me a solid and don’t print any of this?”
