ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The Deputy Prime Minister has passed on his congratulations to all his mates ‘up the north west’ who’ve got even more rain out of this last lot, something he says will finish off their crops nicely.
Surrounded by reporters this afternoon in a Parliamentary Courtyard, Barnaby Joyce told all the city journos there that this year would’ve been one of the best seasons for decades and ‘blokes up his country’ will finally be able to pay off some debts.
“Who says God doesn’t work in mysterious ways! Right when the 300 series comes out, he gives us farmers the best season we’ve had since the bloody 200 series came out,” he said.
“How good, though? Those wheatfields up Moree way have looked like bloody rice paddies for over a week now. They’ll have heads on ’em like King Kong’s cock, mate. Yields larger than what hits the porcelain after a night out in Old Sydney Town!”
“Yeah, bloody they’ve had about a hundred points there, which is old speak for an inch of rain! Might get a bit more. How good!”
“Happy Friday everyone, I’m heading off to Public Bar to drink some cold beer out of a city-style schooner glass and give pensive headnods to the folks walking past.”
More to come.
