Absolute Legend Volunteers To Fuck Up His Sharehouse By Hosting Kick-Ons

His housemates are pretty cut right now.

Absolute Legend Volunteers To Fuck Up His Sharehouse By Hosting Kick-Ons

18 June, 2015. 10:00

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact

“Oi everyone, back to mine!”

Those were the words that echoed through the smoking area of the local “Nightrain SportsBar” at 2:00am on Sunday morning. 25-year-old Lewis Gurr says “It didn’t look like anyone else was gonna put their hand up”.

“…plus there was heaps of white wine left over from my housemates birthday”.

It is believed that the local radio producer decided to host kick-ons without consulting the three people he lives with, in a heroic display of camaraderie.

“Lewis is fucked in the head,” says his long-suffering housemate, Victoria (23).

“It happens every fucken weekend. It’ll be 4:00 am and i’ll get woken up by his dumb-arse mates,”

“They bust into my room asking me for cigarettes…  So they can smoke them in my living room and stub them in the carpet”.

Lewis' housemates say nothing is sacred when it comes to kick-ons
Lewis’ housemates say nothing is sacred when it comes to kick-ons

Mr Gurr has stated that he and his mates have difficulty with “calling it a night” – especially after the new inclusion of lock-out laws in local pubs and clubs.

“[Laughter] Yeah, the pubs aren’t a safe bet anymore. It’s almost like they are asking you to leave the moment you drop your first dooper (sic). I’m just lucky that my house is the party-house” says Lewis.

“Yeah, things get a bit messy but, that’s life isn’t it? All a part of being young”

Lewis’ 35-year-old housemate, Pete says he disagrees with this attitude – but at the same time is very willing to join in.

“These boys keep me young. Nothing like turning a friday night drinks into a rooftop sunday session. Pineapple cruisers, the lot mate,”

“But yeah, when this shit happens on weekdays… it can become a bit too much. I’m a carpenter… I can’t be getting up that early if these sickos are flopping around on the suede couch, blaring Nickelback as a joke”

Lewis' living room, after he has left for work on a monday morning.
Lewis’ living room, after he has left for work on a Monday morning.

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