Andrew Bogut Injured While Signing Contract With Sydney Kings

Andrew Bogut Injured While Signing Contract With Sydney Kings

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Homecoming NBA star Andrew Bogut has reportedly been injured signing his contract with the Sydney Kings today with team doctors all but ruling him out for the remainder of the season. The 33-year-old is returning to Australia after a long and decorated career in the highest and toughest basketball competition on the planet […]

Dutton Spotted At Brisbane Airport Keeping Count Of Departing African Athletes

Dutton Spotted At Brisbane Airport Keeping Count Of Departing African Athletes

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Minister of Home Affairs Peter Dutton has spent the last five hours at the departure gate of Brisbane international, signing off African Commonwealth Games athletes. This comes after the hysteria surrounding news that up to eight Cameroonian nationals had disappeared from athlete’s village, in an attempt to avoid returning home. Dutton says that […]

Local Gay Man Would Go To Hell For Izzy

Local Gay Man Would Go To Hell For Izzy

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT One of Betoota’s most prominent homosexuals, Jordie, has today declared that he’d gladly face a fundamentalist Christian afterlife if Israel Folau jumped the fence. This comes after the happy clapping Wallabies player sparked a social media furore last week after writing that gay people were “destined for hell unless they repent” on an […]

Commonwealth Games Cyclists Noisily Take Over Every Single Cafe In The Gold Coast

Commonwealth Games Cyclists Noisily Take Over Every Single Cafe In The Gold Coast

LEROY PERVICAL | Goldie | CONTACT Commonwealth Games competitors residing at the athletes village have today come out in frustration of the games’ cyclists taking over the village cafe and hogging all the copies of The Courier Mail. Athletes say that their morning routines and mental preparations are being ruined as the cafe is completely over run with lycra-clad […]

Professional Rugby League Player Goes Out For A Few Quiet Beers And Gets Home Safe

Professional Rugby League Player Goes Out For A Few Quiet Beers And Gets Home Safe

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Sports commentators say they are shocked by revelations coming out of Wollongong this week, after it was reported that NRL prodigy Brodie Bevan (22) was able to call it a night after three full-strength schooners. The Illawarra-original is currently playing in Sydney and already hyped for his first Blues jersey after only two […]

Michael Clarke Offers To Step In As Liberal Party Leader

Michael Clarke Offers To Step In As Liberal Party Leader

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact With Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull’s 30-Newspoll losing streak dominating the headlines more than any of policies he’s introduced, former Australian test cricket captain Michael Clarke has offered to step up and come out of retirement for a stint as Liberal Party leader. “Obviously it’s a tumultuous time for Malcolm […]

“Haha, Do We Still Own Them?” Says Prince Charles During PNG Weightlifting

“Haha, Do We Still Own Them?” Says Prince Charles During PNG Weightlifting

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The ongoing effects of colonialism and British rule appeared lost on our visiting Royal yesterday, after he completely forgot that the island nation of Papua New Guinea still belonged to his family. Prince Charles was seen looking shocked on the sidelines of the men’s weightlifting event last night, after Papua New Guinea lifter […]

Last Surviving Member Of The 1948 ‘Invincibles’ Teases Test Comeback

Last Surviving Member Of The 1948 ‘Invincibles’ Teases Test Comeback

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact In a selfless act of charity, one of the greatest top order batsmen the nation will ever produce has toyed with the idea of making a Test return to ‘steady the ship’ – which hasn’t stopped rocking since the ball-tampering saga first made waves two weeks ago. Neil Harvey, the last remaining member […]

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