Michael Cheika asks rhinos to grant David Pocock a sabbatical

Michael Cheika asks rhinos to grant David Pocock a sabbatical

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Coach Michael Cheika travelled to the plains of Zimbabwe over the weekend to personally ask a crash of local rhinoceroses to grant flanker-turned-conservationist David Pocock a sabbatical from his work there to rejoin the Wallabies squad in time for the next test match in Bloemfontein. Facing the Springboks in a race to the bottom, […]

Bondi Rebel Sport Sells Out Of Roosters Scarves As Swans Fans Jump Ship

Bondi Rebel Sport Sells Out Of Roosters Scarves As Swans Fans Jump Ship

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Bondi Junction’s Rebel Sport outlet have today revealed they are now completely out of all Sydney Rooster’s scarves, as Sydneysiders try their very best to make scarves a thing in the NRL. After years of trying to pretend they were from Melbourne, the core community of sports fans in Sydney’s Eastern Suburbs have […]

Israel Folau Says Two Men Should Only Be Engaged And Bound By Squirrel Grip

Israel Folau Says Two Men Should Only Be Engaged And Bound By Squirrel Grip

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australian tri-code footballing star Israel Folau has this week come out in opposition to gay marriage, stating that he believes the only appropriate form of binding between two men is when they put their hand under each other’s crotch from behind and grab the baggy bit of Canterbury footy shorts in front of […]

NRL To Replace Referees With Honesty System After Complaints From Sharks Coach

NRL To Replace Referees With Honesty System After Complaints From Sharks Coach

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT NRL CEO Todd Greenberg has backed up his statement saying “the game must grow up” in relation to Cronulla coach Shane Flanagan’s criticism of match officials. Greenberg says despite the $30,000 fine dished out towards Flanagan for his immature comments, he does agree with the sentiment, and as of 2018, the competition will […]

Wave Of Familiar Disappointment Washes Over Local Socceroos Fan

Wave Of Familiar Disappointment Washes Over Local Socceroos Fan

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Socceroos coach Ange Postecoglou has taken a leaf out of Bill O’Reily’s book and told a waiting media conference that the team will ‘fuck it and do it live’. The national European-style football team missed out on automatic qualification to the 2018 soccer world cup after failing to whip Thailand enough times to […]

Ghost of Kerry Packer looks down on Twiggy Forrest and smiles

Ghost of Kerry Packer looks down on Twiggy Forrest and smiles

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Moments after Twiggy Forrest concluded a press conference this morning where he announced he’s planning his own ‘rebel’ rugby union competition in light of the Western Force being cut from Super Rugby, the ghost of Kerry Packer emerged in the sky and smiled down on him. The philanthropic mining magnate announced he’ll start a […]

Cricketers currently getting flogged in Bangladesh attempt to justify pay increase

Cricketers currently getting flogged in Bangladesh attempt to justify pay increase

IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | Contact After wrangling a significant pay increase for international male and female cricketers, as well as professional state players, the national men’s team has attempted to justify it as they stare down a hefty first Test chase in Dhaka. Up against the Newcastle Knights of the test cricketing world, Australia came close to being […]

UFC Fan Rushes Home After Arriving At Pub Without His Monster Energy Flat Brim

UFC Fan Rushes Home After Arriving At Pub Without His Monster Energy Flat Brim

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Even after making a special effort to wear a sleeveless muscle shirt that shows off his recently-inked Koi fish, a local UFC fan has panicked after realising he left his Monster Energy-themed flat brim hat at home. “Fuck!” says the local peptide-user, Gareth (32). “How did I fucking forget! It’s Mayweather/ Mcgregor […]

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