ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Despite nobody in the Betoota Shire Council receiving the kiss of death from the vengeful pangolin, two young women from our town’s north spent yesterday one-upping each other over who’s the most essential right now.

Local teacher Denise Coleman and Betoota Base Hospital nurse Annie Redpath were sat next to each other a four-person iso-busting brunch yesterday at a mutual friend’s place. The conversation quickly turned from ‘how fucked this whole virus thing is’ to ‘who is the most essential’.

Their host, Maggie Dearden, was quick to put her real estate agent hand up and admit that she was the least essential.

Everyone laughed.

That left Denise, Annie and Amanda.

Amanda is a roo shooter and a yoga teacher, so with some gentle arm twisting from Annie and Denise, she soon yielded and admitted that her jobs weren’t that essential right now.

Denise and Annie locked eyes.

“Babe, it must be so hard being a nurse right now. Like, you’re literally on the front lines fighting the virus,” said Denise.

“Even if there’s no cases in Betoota right now. It must be so stressful wondering if the next person to walk into emergency might have it. Your job is so essential right now. God, cheers, babe!”

They clinked glasses.

“But being a teacher is just fucked right now because like you’ve got the government, who have no fucking idea what they’re doing, telling us what to do. Did you know that kids are the most likely people to carry it but be asymptomatic? And there’s hundreds of kids and only a few of us. Who knows where all these little bastards have been? It’s so fucking risky,”

“But we have to stay open because like there’s kids from like fucked households that see school as like a bit of an oasis so it’s like better if we stay open for them.”

Annie looked at Amanda and Maggie then pursed her lips.

“Being a teacher would be so stressful. You’re actually essential to the cause, like being a nurse is the litteral coalface. Like, we are staring the virus in the face every day. If we don’t go to work, people literally fucking die,” said Annie.

“Totally,” said Denise.

Silence.

More to come.


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