After a big day teaching improv to the stockbrokers, barristers and Liberal politicians of tomorrow, Mr Jensen throws on The Whitlams and puts away a couple bottles of red.

Despite a relatively healthy pay packet to be working in the field he loves, he knows the ‘art’ of theatre is lost on the boys of Saint Magnums College in East Betoota.

“I just didn’t see myself working here when I was at NIDA”

“I was at NIDA with Russel Crowe by the way”

“And David Wenham. My ex girlfriend ended up hooking up with him”

“Who else…. ummmmm… Oh yeah. Ian Roberts was there”

“Oh and Noni Hazelhurst”

Not only is his lifelong love of acting, lighting, stage design, singing and dancing trivialised and ridiculed on a daily basis by his students and their parents – but he is also being forced to coach a rugby team by the school’s executive staff.

“I don’t know a thing about Aussie Rules” he says.

“Why the fuck am I teaching contact sport after school hours?”

He says his inner-leftie is tested every day by the prestigious private school’s curriculum.

“I’m being made to teach these kids a revamped version of Secret River – where the white people are being oppressed by black cannibals”

“Not to mention the Eureka Stockade play, where the workforce are portrayed as HIV-suffering rapists and the cops are the good guys”

It’s days like this where Mr Jensen wonders if the screenplay he got three-quarters through in 1989 is still has enough momentum to turn into a fully-fledged stage production.

“I’m not sure if a dramatic thriller about a community radio announcer under Sir Joh’s government would really be that relevant anymore”

“Do people even get arrested for protesting these days?”

Mr Jensen says his life has come along way since he was knocked unconscious  for throwing marbles underneath a police horse during the Commonwealth Games, but he’s not going to die wondering.

“I’ve booked a cabin at Mount Tamborine. It’ll just me, my vape and the bellbirds for the next six months”

“Also a lot of marijuana and red wine”


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here