TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact
Smokers across the nation are today rejoicing at the ground-breaking results of a decade-long study into how best to mask the smell left behind after smoking a cigarette. The study, carried out by Australia’s lead scientific body, CSIRO, indicates that spraying Lynx deodorant 2cm-8cm away from your index and middle fingers will completely remove all odour.
“This is a truly momentous day. We have long speculated that a strong scent would do the job, however, it was only recently that we discovered the fragrant holy grail, that is, Lynx” lead researcher, Benjamin Hedges, PhD, excitedly told our reporter.
“While all Lynx branded deodorants will work, our research shows that one spray of Africa will completely remove every other scent from the air”
“Take me, right now, for example, can you tell I had a cigarette just minutes before our interview? I bet you can’t”
Benjamin was correct, our reporter had absolutely no idea he was interviewing a smoker.
The Advocate reached out to a number of smokers in Betoota to see how they are already benefitting from the results.
“It’s grouse. I walk straight past mum and she has no idea me n Sharyd [sic] have just been punchin’ darts” one 13-year-old boy excitedly shares.
“I wish I knew this when I was at boarding school, I was always caught smoking by Ms Lindsey.” One Betoota Heights woman told our reporter.
Hiding the smell of cigarettes has been a conundrum that’s plagued the human race since the 15th century when the Europeans invaded the Americas and discovered tobacco.
At The Advocate, we are just feeling extremely blessed to be alive during this exciting time.