Local bloke, Ed Moore (27) is of the understanding that an individual rose always costs $65 per stem.

“Jesus, I don’t why we are going to war over oil when there’s fields of this shit somewhere” he says in front of the 19-year-old assistant florist who has guided him to the last remaining Valentines Day Roses at 10am.

“This is fucking criminal”

“She’s taken me to the cleaners like she’s Christopher Skase,” he said, referencing one of Australia’s greatest white collar criminals and con artists.

While often surprising his girlfriend with a one off bouquet of hydrangeas – or whatever looks like it is about to be thrown out – each February 14th, Ed has to shell out a good amount of money for roses, because the media tells his girlfriend that she should expect roses around that time of the year.

“Mate it’s daylight robbery. How the fuck can these things cost so much. Even with the cost of Australian labor I’d expect there to be blokes who could make plastic replicas for less”

With a three course meal booked at a restaurant that he won’t like, and tickets to film he will also not like, Ed says he’s just lucky he has her birthday, anniversary and Valentines Day staggered across different quarters of the year.

“For fucks sake, I’d be a broken man If I had to take all three hits in the same month. I’m stretching it as it is I had to sit back and watch Winx win by three horse lengths yesterday without putting a cent on it”


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