ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Sam Nakado, a corporate lawyer at Minter Clayton Poon Factory’s Old City District offices, by his own admission, painted the town red yesterday.

“Things got a little bit out of hand,” he told The Advocate this morning over the phone.

“One minute, I’m ordering a couple of brunch beers, then I’m drinking a pony of a dark beer that tasted like burnt toast and putting $50 on the favourite in the 5th race”

“The next, I’m moving money over from my Barefoot-inspired savings offset account so I can buy two bags of meth dressed as cocaine,”

“I spent about $900 on last night. So that’s like two bags and a dozen schooners of craft beer? [laughs] I’m on kidding! Anyway.”

“This is probably the worst hangover I’ve ever had in my life. Way worse than the infamous PassionPop binge of 2009.”

Our reporter asked what used to be his hangover highwater mark before this one.

The 28-year-old audibly swallowed down the line.

He explained that it was just a run-of-the-mill blackout night most well-adjusted Australians have had in their lifetime – except for one small detail.

“It was the height of summer and we were young,” he said.

“We had a graduation party and got stuck into the el cheapo white varieties as soon as the formalities at school were over and done with. Being largely inexperienced with alcohol, I had a whole case of PassionPop and passed out at 4am in the middle of the backyard. The sun came up and roasted me until noon,”

“I needn’t explain any more, it fills me with anxiety.”

Our reporter agreed and hung up the phone.

More to come.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here