ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

“Oh God, what has she done now?” he said.

The third push notification of the morning appeared on Justin Rawlin’s phone and it sent a shiver down his spine.

“It used to give me butterflies he said – once upon a time,”

“Now it just fills me with anxiety knowing that people on my Facebook, some of which I don’t really know at all, might think that I’m a bit of a lame cunt because my missus is tagged me in these stupid memes and all I can do is reply with a ‘Rawr!’ or an ‘Awww’.”

However, unbeknown to the simple Aires, his partner knows full well what she’s doing.

Sienna Bumbaclot told our reporters this morning while she wheeled a near-full recycling bin to her Betoota Heights curb that she knows everybody can see what she’s doing – plus what Justin is railroaded into writing back.

“It is funny to me,” she said.

“I mean, just look at his tribal sleeve tattoo. He’s half Irish and he’s from fucking Perth. He doesn’t want anybody to think he’s uncool,”

“It might sound mean but I get a lot of enjoyment out of it so I’m going to keep doing it.”

More to come.


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