‘Proud gold wife’ mug recipient Lorna Davies (65) was happy to hear her husband was spending more time outdoors, until earlier this week when she discovered he was using a golf cart, undermining any of the health benefits he would have received from actually playing golf.

Under the assumption that her overweight partner of forty years Graham Davies (68) was fine with actually walking during a pleasant day on the green, Lorna discovered a receipt for golf cart hire in her husbands pants when she was about to treat them for grass stains.

“Oh would you believe it?” exclaimed Davies.

“How did that ratbag manage to get these stains then?”

According to Davies, she confronted her husband on the day of the discovery when he returned from the club after what he stated was an afternoon on the front nine and one or two light beers.

When confronted, Graham tried to explain to his wife that while he is very motivated to beat his friends in a competition to see who can best swing a thin metal club to knock a ball into a cup in the ground, he simply cannot be fucked walking.

“I won by the way in case you cared?”

When Lorna looked into Graham’s story she later learnt he had not won but tied with another player and hours later noted his nose looked sunburnt, casting doubt on his assurances that he had worn sunscreen.



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