A Betoota Heights woman has today found out the hard way that technology can be both a wonderful and damning thing, it’s reported.

Ducking out to her local IGA for another bucket of choc chip ice cream and a bottle of plonk, Mel Foster was immediately alerted by the buzzing in her pocket that she’d spent an alarming $732 on shopping that month by the annoying helpful banking app she’d downloaded three weeks ago.

Mel had reportedly lept to her phone as she’d mistakenly thought someone was trying to reach out to her, admittedly that the pesky notification got her every time.

Feeling a little bit curious about her financial state, which she readily admits she’d ignored for the past six months, a slightly tipsy Mel thought she’d have a look at her month by month spending habits, noting, in particular, the month of September 2020, when she’d been unceremoniously dumped by a fuckwit.

“How the fuck did I manage to spend $982 on eating out?”, says Mel as she swipes through the app, “FIFTY-FIVE transactions?”

Taking a sharp intake of breath, Mel notes that in the months following the breakup she’d managed to spend a combined total of $4,589, half of which was spent on booze, UberEats, and an ill advised personal trainer who managed to swindle her into buying a twelve-pack of sessions.

When the misery had plateaued and Mel’s spending had momentarily curbed, another blip to her self esteem by the name of ‘Joshua’, caused her to spend an estimated $3k on online shopping, half of which didn’t even fit fucking properly.

Instead of taking a good hard look at herself and her coping mechanisms, Mel says she’ll just stick to online banking and get rid of the judgemental fuck of an app.


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