KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT

A South Brisbane man has voluntarily placed himself in the head bin this morning after concussing himself with dangerous amounts of Rugby League.

Flat on the couch in his home in Beenleigh, Darren Horsburgh (34) reportedly spent his entire weekend overdosing on NRL by watching all eight games of Magic Round, as well as attending a variety of live podcast streams and a few brand sponsored meet & greets with State of Origin legends.

After watching his beloved Broncos roll the flightless Manly Sea Eagles on Friday night, Darren spent the rest of the weekend crawling from pub to pub in vintage Brisbane kit, taking selfies with players like 

Petero Civoniceva and even getting Alfie Langer to sign his left ass cheek.

Speaking to the superfan who was tucking into a greasy recovery lunch, Darren said the highlight of the entire weekend was witnessing all four Queensland teams win and watching teams like the Eels and Roosters fall apart.

“Mate the Broncos game was sick, the Titans game was sick, the Cowboys killed the Roosters and I even enjoyed watching the Dolphins get up!” said Darren, as he scoffed down a works burger dripping in bacon and beetroot juices and smoky BBQ sauce.

After spending the entire weekend not speaking to any members of his family, Darren admitted he needed to put himself on an 11-day stand down from any more NRL content, or risk permanently damaging his remaining brain cells.

“I’ve probably overdone it, I actually hurt my back with all the Mexican waves.”

“I need a bit of a detox, but maybe it’ll start tomorrow. I wanna watch NRL 360 tonight and see what Kenty manufactures about all the trouble at the Dragons and Manly.”

“That and watch them all squabble like school kids about who should get picked in the Blues side, NSW are pathetic, they’ve mentally lost this series before it’s even started…”

More to come.

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