The Nation

Local sociopath to run half marathon for himself, not charity

1 September, 2016. 12:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact WHEN YOUNG PROFESSIONAL MEN plan to do something unnecessarily physical, it's usually in the name of charity. Some do the Tough Mudder for the Cancer Council, others run for miles without stopping for the Royal Flying Doctor. But for Brett Lystin, he's running the upcoming Blackmore's Half Marathon for himself - and nobody else. "I can't...

Local ugly person makes social media display pictures them as a baby

31 August, 2015 11:30 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact IN WHAT'S BEING INTERPRETED as a thinly veiled attempt to deflect some of the self-loathing Nathan Truman has for himself, the 27-year-old petrol station attendant has made his various display pictures across his social media accounts images of him as a baby. "Look man, I'm just working with what I've got," he said. "Everybody loves babies....

‘Blackface isn’t THAT racist,’ says man who shouts at his wife in public

29 August, 2016. 14:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact WHETHER SHE'S ALLEGEDLY LOOKING TO rekindle a high school romance or spent just a little too much on the credit card this month, Ally Greenport is frequently the target of her husband's short temper. Despite his potentially harmful shortcomings, Mark Greenport has lashed out today at what he calls the 'P.C. Brigade' by...

“After Living In Byron For 6 Months, You Really Get Sick Of These Blow-Ins”

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After living in the alternative, eco-friendly beach town of Byron Bay for just over 6 months, Kiara Godfrey (29) says she's starting to understand the subtle undertow of anti-tourist sentiment across the district. "They just don't get it," she says. "Byron Bay isn't just a holiday. It's a lifestyle, a state of mind," Kiara is one of the many expatriated city...

Turnbull urges Labor stop being ‘gay c*nts’ and help him pass same-sex marriage plebiscite

28 August, 2016. 14:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact THE PRIME MINITER HAS CALLED on Opposition leader Bill Shorten to stop being such a difficult c--t and help him get the controversial same-sex marriage plebiscite through parliament this week. Speaking today from the National Press Club bar, Malcolm Turnbull has hinted that the Labor Party has been deliberately obtuse with him...

New Caboolture mother can’t decide which make of European car to name her daughter after

28 August, 2016. 14:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact NAMING A CHILD THAT'S GOING to grow up on the fringe of Brisbane is a serious business. The spelling has to be unique enough to justify the father having it tattooed above his left nipple in Old English font - and the registrar needs to ask you three times if they'd spelt...

Brisbane Girl Ruins Brand New Camilla Dress In Sydney Acting Like Brisbane Girl

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact WATCHING THE GENTLE SWELL lap against the shore from the Coogee Pavillion rooftop, Emma Hutchens smiles and feels glad she's not about to hitch up her dress and jump on the mechanical bull down at the Jube. Taking advantage of the recent unseasonably warm weather down in the harbour capital, the 23-year-old construction manager and two...

Chris Hemsworth Found Unconscious In Brisbane Park After $4 Basics At The Vic

26 August, 2015 9:30 MERV HARRIS | Brisbane | CONTACT The Betoota Advocate can exclusively report that Australian movie superstar and current Foxtel ad actor Chris Hemsworth was found unconscious this morning in the Botanic Gardens in Brisbane, surrounded by bits of a half-eaten kebab and his right arm covered in entry stamps. Reports have emerged that Hemsworth and fellow Avengers actor Tom Hiddleston had...

Brisbane Police Force NSW Man To Take Off Religious Headwear At South Bank Beach

25 August, 2015 9:30 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Photographs have emerged of armed Queensland police officers confronting an overweight Sydney man on an artificial beach and making him remove some of his clothing, as part of a controversial ban on all NSW Blues merchandise. Authorities in several Queensland towns have implemented bans on the NSW Origin kit, which covers the body and head, citing...

Mike Whitney: ‘I would eat an ibis if somebody dared me to’

25 August, 2016. 13:02 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact SOME PEOPLE CALL THEM bin chickens, others call them the great white pigeon - but former cricketer turned television presenter Mike Whitney might be calling them lunch, after declaring he'd chow down on an ibis for a hundred clams. As the host of Australia's finest, but shortest lived reality television programme, Who...

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