The Nation

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Royal Commission into Misconduct in the Banking, Superannuation and Financial Services Industry has announced today that banks could come under fire for letting pissed morons use PayWave when paying for 13 jagerbombs. The Royal Commission into banks has already heard horror stories about predatory lending and dodgy financial advice, and Commissioner Mr Kenneth Hayne QC is now...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Shelley Adams (23) is the definition of unlucky in love, not only does she miss important social cues from romantic prospects, but she also can't get her tone right in text messages. Right now Shelley's going through a particularly dry patch, so much so that very little of her digital footprint has been breached by suspected Russian state-sponsored cyber...

KENT REGINALD | Body and Soul | CONTACT A multi-billion dollar United Nations-sanctioned scientific study, comprising of millions of individual participants across the world and from all walks of life, has today finally confirmed that there is a definite correlation between how short a human man is, and how likely that man is to start a fight outside his local Maccas. The study, funded by...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Despite the fact that Jessie from accounts has actually used up every single minute of this year's annual leave, she appears unbridled in her rush to book tickets to a four-day music festival in July this year. Jessie, who has already attended like seven festivals this year, has also been able to budget the time and money into...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After months of scrutiny from the media and politicians, the highly organised Melbourne criminal network known simply as the 'Apex' gang, has managed to get the heads of each chapter in the same room, to discuss the future of their organisation as a whole Leaders from different families of the Apex network, including Sunshine West, Dandenong, St Kilda,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Karl Stefanovic has confirmed that he had to lay it on this week to earn a few points with his new fiance’s extended family at a low-key Tuesday evening session in Brisbane's CBD. The co-host of Channel 9’s Today Show, who recently become engaged to Brisbane model and fashion designer Jasmine Yarbrough, was coerced by his new squeeze...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The last 16 listicles written by Antony Pierre Levitt (24) have fallen flat. He's pulled in nowhere near the number of clicks his editor thought he would, and nowhere near the amount of clicks he is required to pull in by quota - to justify his 'columnist' role with a prominent online youth-oriented newspaper. Last fortnight's hot takes have...

LEROY PERCIVAL | Music | CONTACT Tempers have flared up today at North Brisbane's Chermside Shopping Centre, after two men reportedly got into a heated argument over Neil Finns announcement that he’s joined Fleetwood Mac. Peter Green, 28, and Jeremy Spencer, 35, were in the dairy aisle at Woolworths when Jeremy made a negative remark about Peters Crowded House t-shirt. Witness reports suggest that Peter...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A local personal trainer has today confirmed that he is happy to offer his clients a raft of advice on a number of topics on which he is wildly unqualified on. The employee, and Cert IV qualified personal trainer at Legends Gym in Betoota Flightpath District told The Advocate today that he is not only...

 LEROY PERCIVAL | Central-Coast Queensland Folk-Rock Editor | CONTACT A new service has been rolled out by delivery giant Uber this week. Uber will now be delivering emails and other important data to customers of the Australian government's NBN service, using print-outs, CDR’s and DVDr’s for those wanting to watch Netflix. The groundbreaking service, called UberData, will be easily accessed by sending a letter to UberData’s exclusive...