The Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A well-built young man who's climbing his career ladder at an impressive speed has confided in The Advocate this afternoon, telling our reporters that he finally feels like all his hard work is starting to pay off. However, unbeknown to 28-year-old local solicitor, Alistair Ross-Davis, it's actually his social class and exclusive education at Betoota...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Speaking exclusively to The Advocate this morning on the G65 trolleybus into town from Betoota Heights, a city-working local man said he was aware that The Nightwatchman and Bradbury Shorten-Beazley had a televised debate last night - and he's filed that information under 'Who Gives A Fuck' in his brain. Damien Lee went onto explain...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Nationals have thrown disgraced One Nation identity Steve Dickson a lifeline this morning just hours after he was forced to resign over leaked videos showing him getting very handsy in a US strip club. Speaking to reporters this morning in Canberra, Nationals leader Michael McCormack said that while it pains him to say it,...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A self-confessed rugby head spun around on his desk chair after lunch today and asked a group of colleagues if any of them caught the Sunwolves game over the weekend. However, as it turns out, none of them did. Sam Klimt, an emerging market specialist at Goldman Sach's Old City District offices, told The Advocate that...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local man's Lightning cable is currently refusing to go gently into the night, he says, opting to die a hero's death on the altar of freedom as it continues to fight until its dying breath. The inner-most wiring of Conor Simpson's loyal phone cable have been exposed for days; it's even had a room-temperature...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Domino's the largest Pizza chain in the world is facing a potential PR nightmare today after the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC) revealed they will be taking them to court this year. The announcement was made this afternoon concerning the pizza chain's 'predatory business practices targeted at vulnerable young men and women.' "For too long now, Domino's have...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact An inner-city boomer on Bob Brown's Stop Adani Convoy has lashed out at a number of Central Queensland supermarkets over their poor selections of cheeses this afternoon, saying they ought to be ashamed. Betoota Grove man Oliver Taylor-Ross joined the brigade of bongo-slappers in Hobart some months ago and since then, he's been marching back...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Not even one week, and several break-downs, since the ribbon-cutting ceremony for the new Canberra Light Rail - it has been today revealed that the long-awaited public transport project will officially recieve heritage listing status. As the Capital continues to somehow grow in population, the new light rail project comes only a few months late on it's 93rd...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The head of local paramilitary group, Australian Border Force, has told reporters this morning that the computer meltdown affecting our nation's international airport borders will prepare incoming tourists well for our public transport network. The Australian Border Force, affectionately known as the 'blackshirts' by many in the community, say a malfunction in the e-passport system...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local government worker has arrived at work this morning to find the place empty. Martin Cleary, who does something with a computer inside the gargantuan Department of Primary Industries offices in our town's fabled Old City District, told The Advocate that not even the receptionist had bothered to turn up for work this morning. The...