The Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Nightwatchman of Australia, Scott Morrison, has been promoted up the batting order overnight to opener after his unexpected and undefeated double-hundred yesterday. In addition to that honour, the Nightwatchman has signed on to be an official brand ambassador for OLED television, which is the custom. Speaking to the media this morning in Sydney's southern...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Nightwatchman of Australia has survived to stumps this evening, defying all odds and finishing the day not out on 201. The Nightwatchman came to the crease some 267 days ago to steady the ship after a top-order collapse that saw team captain Malcolm Turnbull lose his wicket cheaply. Shortly before stumps this afternoon...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Grove man says he's exhausted this evening after a long day of volunteering for the Liberal Party outside Lake Drive Primary School. Hanging his black puffer vest up for his Mum to have dry cleaned later this week, Conor Douglas-Smith told our reporters outside a popular neighbourhood wine bar that the election is...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT From Mt Isa, to The Curry, to the Southern suburbs of Cairns and the Northern suburbs of Townsville - the voters from within the567,377 square kilometre Kennedy electorate all share the same concern. Namely, the fact that those bastards down south in Brisbane, Sydney and Canberra are trying to sneak one past them. With the Banking Royal Commission revealing the same...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Grove primary school has been caught selling gourmet sausages wrapped in a bun this morning, telling voters that they're democracy sausages. Local man Brendan Green contacted The Advocate after he voted earlier today at the Lake Betoota Public School to say he was let down and shocked by the experience. The 25-year-old lives...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Looking to topple our town's current representative in Canberra this morning, a little known independent candidate told The Advocate that the incumbent David Littleproud should be nervous today. Oscar Wheeler is remaining optimistic about the result, despite not campaigning at all. Our reporter caught up with him this morning in the backyard of his Betoota Heights...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Nazareth-native Jesus H. Christ has told journalists this afternoon via a religious medium that his father, Jehovah H. God, had a plan for Israel Folau and what happened this afternoon is all part of it. Speaking in tongues and rolling around on the pavement outside Rugby Australia's HQ in Sydney, the medium spoke in a...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Member for New England has told reporters in Armidale this afternoon that his fate is in God's hands now after wrapping up his re-election campaign this afternoon in the New South Boomerstan high country. And by wrapping up, Barnaby Joyce means he's heading to the pub. "Yeah not much I can do now, is...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Heights man who doesn't really follow politics says he'll probably vote for Labor this election because he thought Bob Hawke was a legend. A legend, Conor Bradley says, because of all the nice things he gave this country and the unsurpassed legacy he leaves generations to come. "I've voted for the Coalition in...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Australia has a toxic relationship with the grog, which means even the most mundane of events can be tarted up with the addition of alcohol and a few choice rules regarding it's consumption. A national favourite being Election Night drinking games where buzzwords, results and other triggers mean you and your friends are forced to...