The Nation

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Waking up to another day doing it tough, Barnaby Joyce has decided to treat himself to a takeaway coffee this morning. However, unlike those flushed with cash, the Member for New England did so fiscally responsibly, by getting a good deal on his morning cuppa. The recently-povo former Deputy Prime Minister of Australia, ordered a $1 7-eleven cappuccino...

NADINE SKINNER | Real Estate | Contact Do you ever feel like you're nothing but a discarded bag of dog faeces left to steam in someone else's recycling bin? Then chances are you rent a house from somebody who makes a profit out of your hard work as misery. And that's after you navigate your way through the door, past the book-licking...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Federal Energy Minister Angus Taylor was under the pump yesterday amid calls for a Senate inquiry into his conduct as a Member of Parliament. The Senate ultimately voted 33 to 32 to reject Labor's push for a Senate inquiry but according to Coalition insiders, had it not been for Barnaby Joyce's sacrifice yesterday, it could've...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local economic handbrake has taken time out of his busy day of doing fuck all to tell The Advocate that he plans to start building a diverse share portfolio with any proposed increases to his NewStart allowance. Joseph Lengton, 27, has been sporadically employed since Ansell's Dental Dam factory shut down in Betoota Ponds...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT Nationals MP Barnaby Joyce has been left red-faced this afternoon. The Member for New England was caught in a bit of situation after he was apprehended at his local supermarket. The former Deputy PM and former Kiwi citizen was caught by a member of the checkout team trying to pass off 2kg's of prime rump steak as brown...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact To the untrained eye, the giant red flag on Marcus Wallace's cubical wall would seem a bit full on. All of us are familiar with motivational posters and their role in keeping workplace morale up. How when the times are especially tough, just a quick glance up at the wall will give you the...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact "Yeah, so, bit of stuff going on hey…” drug dealer, Shae Watson, said sorrowfully to Jack Wiltshire while the two were catching up in Betoota Grove. “What?” replied a surprised Jack. “Yeah, family stuff man” revealed Shae. “Oh… Umm that’s too bad bro. Hey, I’ve actually gotta get back to the boys so, ah, reckon I can get that bag and...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Inner-city leftie, Jocelyn Woods, has been left speechless this afternoon after hearing what her colleague and her brother used to do for fun when they were children. Jocelyn’s colleague, Rachel, grew up on a farm outside Betoota and as she explained to Jocelyn, they had to make their own fun. “Yeah well we never had Nintendos or Gameboys or...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In an unsurprising announcement this morning, Home Affairs Minister and amateur dental surgeon Peter Dutton has today revealed that he is one of the few people on Earth that cares about Arnotts' decision to possibly discontinue production of the orange slice. This comes after the $3 billion sale of Arnott’s to “investment powerhouse” KKR this week. The settlement has caused...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A few weeks ago, Wilson Bransby of "Top Conbar" on the Betoota City Limits felt in his gut that there was rain on the way - so he did what any self-respecting Simpson Desert grazier would do. He got in the Chamberlain, hooked up the chisel plough and ripped every bit of arable land up...