Sports

It’s been revealed today the State Of Origin bosses have struck a deal which will see brussels sprouts served at Origin 3 at Suncorp Stadium. The news comes just a few days after they announced they would be exclusively serving Carlton United beer at the Brisbane stadium, which is located about 300 metres away from the famous XXXX brewery. In a...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Four of the sixteen members of a local WhatsApp group have seemingly hijacked discussion in the thread today, polluting it with a whole manner of NBA Playoff-related chat and content. Dennis, Goblin, Mike and Peter form one-quarter of their group (which is entitled 'Team Queef') and typically contribute with the odd meme here and there -...

 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A puzzled but excited Alfie Langer has today declared that he will do his best to bring the Australian cricket side to victory, despite the fact that he has never coached a summer sport before. The former Brisbane and Maroons star half back has announced he will be stepping down from his coaching staff roles at the Broncos, and...

 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Wallabies and New South Wales Waratahs star Nick Phipps is today hot property for an array of different NRL Clubs, after the prominent union halfback publicly apologises for urinating on a bar in Sydney's east last month. Phipps has also apologised for his dismal stream, failing to even reach is own mouth with the dark yellow urine he was...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Homecoming NBA star Andrew Bogut has reportedly been injured signing his contract with the Sydney Kings today with team doctors all but ruling him out for the remainder of the season. The 33-year-old is returning to Australia after a long and decorated career in the highest and toughest basketball competition on the planet - but it wasn't without its...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Parramatta Eels are reportedly considering just doing illegal performance enhancing drugs and waiting to see how long it takes them to get caught, after the club slumped to a eighth straight loss, and sixth of the 2018 season.The Eels remain at the very bottom of the NRL ladder after their atrocious loss to a 18-2 loss...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Minister of Home Affairs Peter Dutton has spent the last five hours at the departure gate of Brisbane international, signing off African Commonwealth Games athletes. This comes after the hysteria surrounding news that up to eight Cameroonian nationals had disappeared from athlete's village, in an attempt to avoid returning home. Dutton says that while he agrees the pointless sports fair...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The unsinkable Bruce McAvaney has presented some of the highest-profile sporting events to grace the nation's sporting calendar. They include the AFL Grand Final, Melbourne Cup, Australian Open and Summer Olympics - but this year, he's looking to add another to that list. "The Boxing Day Test will be huge for me this year," he told...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT One of Betoota's most prominent homosexuals, Jordie, has today declared that he'd gladly face a fundamentalist Christian afterlife if Israel Folau jumped the fence. This comes after the happy clapping former-Wallabies player was sacked by rugby Australia after writing that gay people were “destined for hell unless they repent” on an Instagram post. However, Jordie says that somehow this has...

LEROY PERVICAL | Goldie | CONTACT Commonwealth Games competitors residing at the athletes village have today come out in frustration of the games’ cyclists taking over the village cafe and hogging all the copies of The Courier Mail. Athletes say that their morning routines and mental preparations are being ruined as the cafe is completely over run with lycra-clad cycling groups, all vying for the...