LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison has been rushed to hospital after experiencing what has been described as ‘extreme exhaustion.’

The medical emergency occurred after he was forced to do a full day’s work.

It’s been alleged the shandy he had may have also played a significant roll in the collapse.

Into the wee hours of last night, a marathon sitting concluded with the coalition’s religious discrimination bill passing in the lower house of parliament and the PM being absolutely out of breath after pulling a shift the average nurse could do without stopping for a snack, a wee or a cry.

Upon returning home, the PM appeared in good health but collapsed due to exhaustion after doing his first full day’s work since day one at Tourism Australia.

“It was about the time Jenny asked me if I’d taken the bins out and I just dropped,” described the PM from his hospital bed.

“Tell ya, I didn’t expect it to be so busy in here! I wanted one of those breathing machines but apparently they’re all used up now. Bloody Labor!”

The PM was then informed that an agreement on amendments made to the bill he pulled an all nighter on would not be able to be made, meaning something else would have to be the de facto masthead of his time as PM.

“But I promised Brian! Bloody hell, just shelve it, I can’t anymore I’m buggered.” 

With the religious discrimination bill shelved it is unlikely there will be time for an agreement to be made on the bill until after the election which can happen in May at the latest.

“Far out, can someone call this next election already so we can get it out of the way?”

“No that’s what I’m saying, can’t someone else do it?” 

“Maybe we can get an extension?”

“I know, just ask.”

“Good, now turn the light off. I need my rest.”

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