LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
In an act of tone deafness so intense it could only happen in an office, local office manager Kirsty Kringley has insisted on an office Kris Kringle.
2023 has been a ripper year for Kringley who successfully organised a Mother’s Day morning tea, Father’s Day sausage sizzle and 12 monthly birthday cakes, two of which actually occurred on someone’s birthday.
Seemingly the only thing Kringley hasn’t organised in the office is some sort of wage increase as she’s not responsible for such things, rather, she’s responsible for organising things that distract from that nagging feeling that such a raise should be occurring.
However, Kringley’s latest caper has only reignited feelings of financial hardship as the dog mother of two has set into motion a Kris Kringle aka Secret Santa even though everyone is skint right now as it’s 20-fucken-23 for fuck’s fucken’ sake.
“Everyone’s looking forward to it, they’ve gotten into the decoration competition,” stated Kringley, gesturing to the festively decorated office space that she sent several stern reminder emails about.
“Think the senior leadership team might win it though, I did such a good job decorating their desks.”
“No one seems to be as keen for the Secret Santa though, which is weird because if they don’t like their present they’ll have a chance to steal someone else’s!”
“Except for the gift they all chipped in for [the boss] but only because he asked for that specifically.”
“We’re really not asking for much, just a $20 present wrapped with a funny little note and a backstory if you can and if you can bring something in for the morning tea that would be great, all the information is on the spread sheet!”
At the time of writing, Kringley’s co-workers are considering having a private whinge session before just doing what she says and spending the next 11 months trying to think about something else.