Bahahahahahahahahahah England.

Suck shit.

This comes after the Poms succumbed to their second biggest ever test lost, only eclipsed by their hammering in 1934 to us.

The final result was India losing by 434 runs in the Third Test match of the series, after crumbling for 122 in the second innings.

It was also the biggest ever test win for India, who were pretty happy to pump the uppity English who are still carrying on like they are the greatest thing to ever happen to world sport.

It was also the 8th time Johnny Bairstow was dismissed for a duck against Inida, which is more times than the likes of Jimmy Anderson, Shane Warne and Nathan Lyon.

It was also the umptieth time in the last 12 months that the Poms have complained about being robbed, after Captain Stokes teed off on the umpire for a line ball dismissal that was backed up by DRS – that definitely lost them the match by 434 runs.

It was also the umptieth time this newspaper has been provided with some absolute gold by the English – which we have obviously decided to dine out on this morning.

Despite the biggest of dackings by the Indians, the English have committed to persisting with the attacking cricket philosophy of BazBall.

Ben Stokes confirmed to The Advocate that his boys will play a reverse sweep on their first delivery no matter what.

“We won’t back down. I’ll ramp on the last ball before tea. This is Baz Ball,” said Stokes.

“We are better than you. Don’t ever forget.”

More to come.


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