ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Prime Minister is on his way to London today for the Coronation of King Charles III despite criticisms that he should skip the celebrations to focus on tackling more pressing issues on the home front.

Cost of living pressures have made life harder for millions of everyday Australians and Anthony Albanese told The Advocate this morning that the plights of people doing it tough aren’t far from his thoughts.

“While I am taking the RAAF Boeing BBJ from Sydney to London today, I want everyone to know that I will be sitting in the economy section that’s usually reserved for ministerial staff and the media,” said Mr Albanese.

“I am even sitting at the window and they’re placing quite a large man next to me. His stomach is almost fush with the tray table. I have also instructed my Chief-of-Staff to recline the seat in front, so I’m really trapped in. I am also refusing the typical food that we get on the VIP transport planes,”

“Instead of the delicious Rangers Valley steak, complete with tossed greens and a pint of craft beer, I will be eating what economy passengers usually eat. I will be eating this fiberless muck that’s despite to block you up for days on end so you don’t need to get up and go boom boom in the airplane toilets. Oh, the large man next to me has dreadful sleep apnea so he’ll keep everyone up the entire flight,”

“This won’t be like last time, when I went over for the coin lady’s funeral. You could play indoor cricket in my section up the front. There’s a big table, mini fridge. Full bed. It’s great but we are in tough times right now, so I’m back here with the Channel Nine cameramen and military attaches,”

“So cheers, guys. I’m about to take two grey-market Valiums and wash it down with a longneck of Wolfblass. Hopefully, I wake up when this whale does so I can have my one piss of the entire flight.”

More to come.


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