ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A little guy has bought himself a Ford Ranger today, heralding a new beginning where he gets to look down on people for a change.

Secured with a novated lease that sees him pay nearly $200 a week in fuel costs alone, manlet Dale Puck also wanted to tell readers of The Advocate that the good people of Overell Ford didn’t even require a deposit for the popular utility vehicle.

“Finally,” he said.

“It’s such a change from my old car. So much faster, too. I only wish that I’d done it earlier. It comes out of my pre-tax income so it’s just about pushed me under the HECS threshold, which is great because fuck HECS!”

The 31-year-old construction manager was leasing a brown Suzuki Jimny for the past four years. Something he says was ultimately hurting his self-esteem.

“Many of the boys, particularly the scaffolders, would make fun of me for driving a smaller car,” he continued.

“They would see me pull up at the worksite and call their mates over. They’d be up in the scaffolding giggling at me, calling me height-related slurs and saying I was driving a little car. I honestly couldn’t wait for the lease to end.”

After a bit of prodding, Dale said things haven’t got much better on the worksite since he picked up his Ranger.

“I kind of have to jump out of this thing, which is fine but pulling up to work today, I swung the door open and jumped out and the boys up in the scaffold just obnoxiously burst into laughter,” he said.

“I must’ve left it unlocked because when I came back, someone had put two phonebooks on the driver’s seat. Again, more laughter from the scaffold. When I’m running this site, they’re all done.”

More to come.


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