Even though he is by far the most intimidating person that most of his clients come in contact with in their day-to-day lives, local drug dealer Ashley Grove is still unnecessarily putting on a show of how tough he is.

Between dealing cocaine and MDMA, the 29-year-old also listens to rather intense gangster rap music, something that also scares the white-collar men and women that are forced to sit in his car when they want to buy recreational drugs.

Local finance professional and cocaine enthusiast, Tom* (name changed) says as someone who works in sales for a living, he can’t understand why Ashley thinks it’s appropriate to try and staunch someone that is handing you $300.

“All he had to do was turn up. There was no sales pitch, nothing. I call him. He turns up. I hand him money and he hands me a gram of rack”

“He’s got the easiest job in the world. What’s the point in calling me a fuckhead?”

Ashley says it’s all a part of the sales script.

“I’ve gotta play hardball so they know they can’t fuck me”

However, those that feature on Ashley’s dorky client list insist they aren’t at all interested in ‘fucking him’.

“Why the hell would I try and rip off a drug dealer?” says local Personal Trainer, Stacey* (name changed).

“The only reason I have anything to do with him is because I need someone that I can purchase drugs off – there’s not much else to it”

“If I could buy drugs from the servo I’d be doing that instead, let me tell you”

“My neighbours would love it to. They wouldn’t have to deal with the sound of an idling WRX out front of my house every Friday and Saturday evening”

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here