ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

God has released a statement this morning that outlined what many here on this spinning hellrock have long suspected.

Short-term rental platforms are a pox sent from God that is supposed to teach us all what real greed looks like and the knock on effects that can have on society.

“Turning housing, which many see as a basic human right, into a speculative commodity, was just the first step,” he said.

“Then creating an artificial scarcity of housing with short-term rentals was the next. The next was to make sure governments created sympathetic tax policy to make sure that property speculators are rewarded for their fiscal courage,”

“What I wanted to do was teach people that for each person to grow rich, another needs to eat shit and die. That property can sit empty, growing in value and being used to put toward pressure on personal income tax, while people who were born in the wrong postcode to the wrong parents can sleep in their car,”

“I wanted to show everyone what real greed looks like.”

Son of God, Jesus Christ, was quick to echo his old boy’s sentiments.

Speaking to The Advocate today from his Buderim home, Mr Christ said that God works in some strange ways but ultimately they work out, most of the time.

“You know what he doesn’t tell you is that short-term rental platforms create a $9bn tax shortfall in Australia due to chronic under reporting of income derived from them,” said Christ.

“And that was a couple of years ago. Who knows what it is now? Probably Dad but I don’t want to get him started on it again. Plus, most of them are headquartered in Ireland so whenever it’s tax time, the Australian taxpayer gets ratfucked again. So they remove rental stock from the market, drive up rents, avoid paying tax in Australia and fuel grey tax fraud on a personal level?”

“Then they have the audacity to claim they’re being scapegoated. If they were, then why are they introducing a levy aimed at helping ease the problem that wouldn’t exist if they didn’t? I might just be a dumb little neppo baby but even I can see that’s pretty crook.”

More to come.


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