A recent report from the Australian Consumer Advocacy Group, CHOICE, has found that the average Apple genius bar employee is unable to hold a conversation that covers more than 2-3 non-Apple related discussion points.

CHOICE spokesman, Professor Elle Hardie says that anything beyond ‘how ya going?’ is almost too much for most ‘geniuses’ and that anything related to current events, or even the weather outside of the Westfield shopping centre they are based in, could result in uncomfortable social gaffes.

“What we have found is that if any customers make any form of human connection with these people, they begin to twitch. It is best to keep focused on the issues at hand”

“It can make an already very stressful trip to the Apple store that much more painful”

This cultural deficit made headlines in December last year when an Apple Genius Bar employee fainted after being asked his weekend plans by an attractive female customer.

Two weeks ago a Genius Bar employee in the South Betoota Apple Store failed in his attempts to hide a very obvious erection, after brushing hands with a 50-year-old divorcee who was visiting about a scratch iPad camera.

This lack of social skills within the ‘cult of genius’ has been addressed in recent months, with Apple officially asking all customers to avoid mentioning the outside world when interacting with their support staff.

“Please do not encourage these people. They are not fit for the wild just yet”



Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here