ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

“Something equally as pathetic,” she laughed.

“Honest to God, they public servants. Get on with the job of serving me, you cunts.”

Angela Sans has had a trying month.

The first thing that when pear-shaped was the fact most of her strawberries were undersize this year – the second being the aforementioned ‘needle-in-fruit’ controversy that’s affected almost every consumable good imaginable.

But the popular strawberry grower says there’s an air of normality returning to the industry, now that her beloved aggregate accessory fruit has been pushed off the front pages of newspapers.

“I think there’s been a direct correlation between the media coverage the whole needle business has got, to the number of cases reported,” she said.

“Maybe, just maybe, they should’ve just stopped reporting on it. Then maybe nine tonnes of my strawberries wouldn’t be rotting in a fucking creek right now? Anyway, it’s over now. I hope things can go back to normal,”

“Also, we’re in a drought out here. Even though we’re fully-irrigated and in a greenhouse, I want some drought assistance. Oh? Only people with sick, starving livestock get media coverage? Well, I’m a primary industry that’s been thrown under the bus, where’s my care package?”

Our reporter shrugged and turned the recorder off.

More to come.

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