Concerned Onlookers Relieved To Discover Person Driving On Footpath Isn’t Drunk But 89-Years-Old

Concerned Onlookers Relieved To Discover Person Driving On Footpath Isn’t Drunk But 89-Years-Old

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Earlier today, a late model Nissan was spotted driving erratically down Peanut Street in Betoota Heights.

Onlookers were concerned, the car was all over the road and many fellow motorists phoned through their concerns to police.

However, upon catching up to the car, a local man was relieved to discover that a drunk wasn’t behind the wheel.

It was Harold St Clare, a popular pensioner and long-time resident of the Anglican Retirement Village on Stevens Road.

As police arrived on the scene, a seemingly ambivalent Harold said he didn’t know what all the fuss was about.

“I just came down to the shops to do some shopping and have my prescriptions filled,” he said to traffic police.

“Why? Is there a problem with my automobile?”

After being told that they’d had reports of him driving quite dangerously, Harold dismissed them and explained that there must’ve been a misunderstanding.

He was quick to remind the probationary constable that he flew a Spitfire in the war and has five Messerschmitts and a Fokke Wolfe to his name.

The concerns of the police for Harold’s driving weren’t echoed by the onlookers, who said they felt at ease knowing it wasn’t some criminal on his way home from the pub, but an upstanding and respectable member of society.

“When we saw it was just an old man driving on the footpath, we were so relieved,” said one witness.

“Everybody thought it was a drink-driver. People who do that should have their hands chopped off I say. Make them drive with their teeth! Anyway, we all love Harold. So funny to see him almost run six people over. Such a character!”

More to come.

 

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