Australia Urgently Sends Tubby Taylor To France On Diplomatic Posting As Europe Endures Brutal Heatwave
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After three consecutive days of a record-breaking heatwave in France, Australia has moved quickly to
Latest news (Page 105)
You Either Die A National, Or Live Long Enough To Become An Independent
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Barnaby Joyce stood somewhat alone in the House of Representatives on Thursday afternoon, delivering
BOM Confirms It's Absolutely Beer With Lunch Weather
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The ever infallible Bureau of Meteorology have today issued an almost universally popular weather report. Fresh
Teen That’s Spent Countless Hours On Minecraft Not Interested In Picking Up Shovel In Real Life
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact 13 year old Minecraft enthusiast Nathan Hargreaves has once again refused to participate in any real-
Degenerate Boyfriend Uses Girlfriend’s Expensive Shampoo As Body Wash
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local man, Charlie Belmont arrives at work each morning smelling like coconut and murumuru butters – and
Woman Reading Spicy Novel Too Horrified By Description Of Love Interest’s Anatomy To Find It Arousing
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A woman reading one of her naughty novels has yet again herself more repulsed than aroused,
Local Man Craves A Shower Head As Powerful As The Ones Outside The Lifesaving Club
PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT A local surfie has today departed the beach feeling a mixture of envy and resentment after
Local GP Sighs After Spotting Elephant Pants In The Waiting Room
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A local GP has let out a deep sigh after spotting a pair of elephant pants
Hand Soap With This Coloured Bottle Can Charge Whatever The Fuck They Want
PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT The Australian Competition and Consumer (ACCC) has uncovered some explosive news today. It turns out that
Households Who Have Their Toilet Paper Delivered Far More Likely To Volunteer For The Greens
PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT The ABS has today confirmed a direct correlation between households that have their toilet paper delivered
Malcolm Turnbull's Official Portrait Has A Subtle Nod To His Beloved Sydney Roosters
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Minister Malcolm Turnbull’s official portrait has been unveiled at Parliament House today, with
ABC Set To Bring Back Tom Gleeson’s ‘Hard Chat’ In A Bid To Actually Apply Some Political Scrutiny
PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT Political corruption is thriving across the nation as anti corruption ‘watchdogs’ such as IBAC function more
English Cricketers Spend Extra Couple Of Days Off Getting Teeth-Whitened, Skin Burnt And Hair Cut
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The saviours of the game of cricket are today taking some much needed time to rest