Olympic Gymnast Team Scouts Logan Kid Doing Backys On Hazardous Non-Enclosed Trampoline
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT The Australian gymnastic team has reportedly scouted a potential prodigy in the unassuming suburbs of Logan.
The Nation
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Melbourne Tradie Lockdown Forces Scott Cam Back Onto The Tools To Get The Block Back On Track
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Australia’s favourite television tradie has been forced to get back into the tools for the
Melbourne Vinnies Report Abundance Of Hi-Vis Donations As Conspiracists Stop Playing Dress Ups
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Second-hand clothing outlets across Melbourne say they are being inundated with brand new high visibility workwear,
Earthquake Damage Sees Dan Andrews Begin Gruelling Task Of Mending Relationship With Tradies
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Victorian Premier Dan Andrews has today had to swallow his pride and begin negotiations with the
Melbourne Experiences Magnitude 5.8 Earthquake After Your Mum Falls Over
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The state of Victoria has been hit by a 5.8 magnitude earthquake, that has left
Melbourne Literally Shook Rn
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT For the first time ever, Melbourne’s residents actually mean it when they say “I am
Scotty Stocks Up On His Australian Flag Masks In Case China Stops Making Them
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Our Prime Bloke Scott Morrison has instructed his aides to make sure he has enough Australian
2021 Chucks In A Few Earthquakes For The Fuck Of It
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT\ Windows have shattered and buildings have shaken across Melbourne this morning as Victoria experienced an out-of-character
Potential Root Forces Bloke To Throw Doona Over Sheets That Haven’t Been Washed For 6 Weeks
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT A local grot has gone full Mary Poppins, courtesy of a suggestive late-night text. Sam Haynes
Remember When ASIO Specifically Warned Dutton About Threats Of Extremist Far-Right Propaganda?
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As Melbourne descends into the chaos of confused and propaganda-fuelled protests, everyone but the Murdoch media
Greg Hunt Rolls Eyes And Lets Out A Sarcastic Woohoo After Winning Tickets To Boxing Day Test
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Federal Health Minister Greg Hunt says his Christmas plans ‘have gone to shit’ this afternoon after
Dan Andrews Announces Disaster Bonus Bets In Effort To Calm Down Melbourne Tradies
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT An uneasy and confused marriage of distressed construction workers and anti-vaxxer protestors are marching through Melbourne
Jayden Campbell Begins 2022 Off-Season With 15 Kilogram Pasta Dish And 3.7 Litre Protein Shake
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After playing a big role in the Gold Coast Titan’s first finals appearance in five