Premier Forced To Step In After Melbourne Arts People Get A Bit To Artsy
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Premier of Australia's most cosmopolitan state has today been forced to intervene in
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Amateur DJ And Underground Soundcloud Enthusiast Pleads For Friends To ‘Wait For The Drop’ When Handed AUX Cord
STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACT WAIT FOR THE DROP: Pleads Molly, Betoota’s amateur DJ and underground banger enthusiast as
“I Could Plan My Own Wedding” Says Bloke Still Writing On Gift Cards In Ubers
KEITH T. DENNETT | REAL LIFE | CONTACT A local porkchop is being accused of absolute dribble this afternoon as he prepares
Local Bloke Feels Like He’s Discovered A Cheat Code After Going To A German Club For The First Time
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A local bloke has found himself asking why the fuck he’d never heard of a
Touch Footy Veteran Has Existential Crisis After Being Stepped By Kid That Wasn’t Alive For ’05 Benji
KEITH T. DENNETT | REAL LIFE | CONTACT A local man is having a bit of moment this afternoon after realising he’
Div 4 Winger Swan Diving Under The Posts Unaware Oval Is 80% Labrador Shit
KEITH T. DENNETT | REAL LIFE | CONTACT A reserve grade winger is expected to be on jumper wash duties this weekend,
Cost Of Living Forces Local Banker To Take Kids To Timezone Instead Of Thredbo
KEITH T. DENNETT | REAL LIFE | CONTACT In tragic news for one of Betoota’s high tax bracket battlers, a yearly
Passion Pop Makes Glorious Return As Cost Of Living Forces Millennials Back Onto Teenage Classic
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT In an unexpected twist that has left sommeliers weeping, Passion Pop – a drink best known for
Local Lesbian Has Her Subaru Keys Revoked After Revealing She Doesn’t Know Who Chappell Roan Is
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A Betoota Heights woman has this week had her Subaru keys officially revoked, after revealing that
After 6 Years Of Environmental Vandalism, Drunk People No Longer Find Throwing E-Bikes Into River Funny
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT After a solid six-year run of local hoodlums turning rivers and harbours into e-bike graveyards it
BOM Predict Local Woman’s ClassPass Credits To Be Blown Away By Incoming Polar Blast
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact The Bureau of Meteorology (BOM) has this week predicted that a local woman will yet again
Water Bottles Under Olive Tree A Decent Sign You’re About Eat The Greatest Moussaka Of Your Life
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT In a groundbreaking revelation that has foodies around the world flocking to Australia’s light industrial
‘I Want A Trad Wife’ Says Bloke Who Makes $75k
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A bloke who’s spent too much time going down the Tik Tok rabbit hole has